ok,fine.

WHY WHY WHY???
I m tired alredy...
U never understand me....
I will never explain to U...
Pls dun think tat U understand me,
actually U r the people who least understand me!!!

ok...Whatever....
fine....
i thought U will change it bcoz of me,
BUT NO,
U r hurting me again n again....
ok,fine...
U think tat i m nt gud is it?
ok,fine...

I SPEECHLESS.



p/s:this is juz a post to let me express myself.

分享~教书经验

仔细算算，自己在补习中心兼职当老师已经四个多月咯。。。别以为只有老师教学生，其实我从他们身上也学会了很多东西。虽然他们有些人小鬼大，时常在上课时作弄我（特别是二三年级的学生），但是偶尔我发觉他们很多还是有很可爱的一面。其实，他们只是希望老师会多注意他们。

上课时不专心啦~调皮捣蛋啦~到处跑来跑去~只要是教低年级的学生时都会发生这样的事。“老师，你有男朋友吗？”“老师，你的初吻还在吗？”“老师，你在学校会不会有很多人暗恋你？”。。。。哈哈，这些都是我的小学学生曾经问我的问题。他们真的把我问到哑口无言。

有时候，我真的不想鞭打他们。但是不打又不行，其他学生又会觉得不公平！“老师，你不公平的，打他酱小力！”哎，当老师也有为难的时候！有时候他们还会自己找藤鞭给我。所以鞭打学生是无可避免的！不要说我暴力啦，我也不想的！

前两个星期收到以前六年级的学生发给我的信息，问候我近来过得好不好。其实我心里真的好开心他们还记得我这个老师。我知道他们的检定考试成绩要放榜咯，所以我不只要祝福他们华文科可以考到好成绩，我也祝福他们全科都会考得很棒！

我有几位朋友（那位整齐小姐和整天酸我的那位朋友咯）说很想尝尝当老师的滋味。其实我鼓励你们试看啦，因为是个不错的经验哦！但是，我绝对不鼓励你们当一个教育工作者！老师真的不容易当啦！

希望我在教书的过程中没有误人子弟！哈哈~~

好累～

当一个人受过太多次一样的伤害后
心会开始变得再也无法承载伤痛。。。
整颗心都觉得很累；
很无力。。。。

我已经学会了伪装自己
想要装作不在乎
想要装作漠不关心
可是如果我真的不在乎
为什么我还会流泪？
为什么我的心还会这么痛？

究竟要怎样做才合你们的心意？
我真的不知道。。。
我的心真的很累了
这已经不是第一次了
我知道也不会是最后一次
我不知道我还能够撑到几时。。。

给所有看这篇帖子的朋友：
不用为我担心
我还没有到极限
我会撑下去
谢谢大家对我的关心
谢谢你们肯听我诉苦（特别是玉雯嘉乐丝蕙 佩莹还有 星期六 在电话那头为我加油打气的朋友们～我真的超感动～～～）

我没事，放心啦！

情绪化的女孩。。。。

不知道从什么时候开始，觉得自己是个很情绪化的人。。。有些朋友也会这么认为。没有特别的理由，但是就是会无缘无故情绪起伏不定。。。总是需要一点时间才能够让自己康复。。巨蟹座的人也许都会这样吧？？？




我觉得很对不起我的朋友们，让他们常常为我担心。。。也许我的外表让人觉得我很软弱，可是我偶尔也有很坚强的一面。。。也许你认为我是自小就在幸福下成长的女孩，但是很遗憾的，我必须诚实的说我不是。。。也许是因为这样才塑造了我这样的性格，选择隐藏自己，更不愿意让别人看穿自己。。。




我不想埋怨，也认为自己没有资格埋怨，因为我知道上天已经对我超好了。。。但是，我为什么还是如此情绪化呢？真搞不懂咯，也许我并不完全了解自己；想了好久，到底要怎样才能克服情绪化这个毛病呢？也许我应该找些事情转移我的注意力吧？也许我不应该时常对自己要求这么高？说了这么多，我还是没有办法得到结论。。。T.T


原谅我就是这样的女生。。。。

STPM- My new CHALLEGE~

It has been a long time i did nt renew my blog...haiz,everyday busy since i started study form 6....my school just like prison,everyday try to lock up us in school until very late!!!really hate this!!!

Study form 6 already two months,i still cannot accept this fact... may be i too hate STPM (i think so?)...still remember that i did promised myself will study very hard to get good results in SPM and to escape from studying form 6.So rediculous lo...Eventhough i got heavenly results for my SPM,I still in SMKDPT!!!Really depressed at that time...felt that i being forced to study form 6...but i cannot blame anyone because i am the one who did not fight for it...ya,i strongly felt regret....

I am quite dispirited for the past two months...dispirited because i lost the chance to study medical course,dispirited for my form 6 life and dispirited for so many others thing...I lost my way, lost my aim....I even do not have motivation to study for my form 6 first test.haiz,it was the first time i did not study for my test seriously...Ya,i change le...i change to become a frivolous girl,like to play truancy and not concentrate in study...

I finally dare to face the reality,i am a form 6 students after my mum scold me.She said " How come you not serious at all for your study? you don't want get 4 flat for your STPM?You don't want go sg to study?".....speechless........i don't know how to ans her.I think about this for few days.I know my parents have high expectation on me, i know i do not have other choices...I SHOULD take this new challenge.

STPM -----> NEW CHALLENGE -----> NEW LIFE

WISH ME ALL THE BEST!!!

当老师，真的很难！！！！

Yesterday i started teaching tuition at tuition center lo..erm,experience for the first day quite good,at least the students still can controlled by me....i taught primary 6 students Mandarin class for monday night,they all quite good and lovely....

However, the story is not as rosy as a bed.Today,i finally knew that what is " problem students ".Those students really made me annoy.This afternoon, I taught primary 3 students for English and Bahasa Melayu.There all got 9 students in my class.Unluckily,among my 9 students,only 3 of them are well behaved.Another 6 students,really made me insane!!!They did not respect me as their teacher.Theu don't want do their works that they supposed to do and disturb me when i was teaching.They even talk very rudely to me!I scold them very loudly but they still ignore me!!!They even ask me to beat them using rattan but they told me they are not affraid of rattan!I really don't know wat should i do to make them keep quiet and sit properly.I really can not handle those students....

Haiz,may be i am not enough fierce ....Teaching them really will make my blood pressure increase dramatically!What i hope is my others students won't behave like them!!

I hope that i will find a most suitable teaching method to teach them soon.My conclusion is,being a teacher really very tough!

Sek n swee hui' birthday!!!

谢谢嘉乐帮我们拍照。。。。。。。。。

啊宝和宝伊也玩得很疯噢！哈哈。

这是芒果布丁蛋糕。。。

本来还以为我会是最早发表的，谁知道让嘉乐抢先一步啦！哈哈。。。。

庆祝会当天真的好有趣噢，我们坐车去的时候三个位的后座就挤了六个人耶！太神奇了啦！哈哈。虽然不是所有朋友都喜欢唱歌（不好意思，太委屈你们啦，丝蕙姐和玉雯），我们还是选择去 Redbox庆生。当时的气氛蛮不错啦，我承认我玩得很high 啦，毕竟是自己的生日嘛。。。。唱到差点失声啦！哈哈。。。超开心的。。。总而言之跟自己的好朋友在一起的时候真的很开心，也只有那时候才是最真实的我！

虽然你们提前了两个星期帮我庆祝生日，我还是一样开心啦！真的。。。还有谢谢你们送我的礼物，我很喜欢噢！

丝蕙姐（哈哈，你比我早一天生日嘛），今年是我们第三年一起庆生咯。每次我们一起许愿的时候你总会许得特别久！哈哈。希望明年我们还可以一起庆生噢，一起和丝蕙党的朋友度过我们的生日！

谢谢各位陪我度过我十八岁的生日！

丝蕙，先预祝你生日快乐咯。